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Mr. Rogers' Radio Neighborhood
by John Lavallée

Once again, the media is pissing me off.  But this time, my beef is with radio.  You cannot find a good reliable radio station that reliably plays good music in Winnipeg.  At last count we have 9 FM radio stations:  one french station, two (mostly classic) rock stations, two pop/rap/crap stations, a country station, an extremely light music station (I think they pile lead on the roof to prevent the station from floating away), and CBC radio two, which I believe plays classical music, but to tell the truth, I've never tuned in long enough to confirm that.  If I flip around, I can occasionally find some decent music (which to me, by the way is newer rock/alternative music), but for the most part, I'm almost exclusively listening to CDs or tapes.

This frustration alone is hardly enough to justify a rant, since I was only able to get a paragraph (albeit a nicely sized one) out of it.  But there's more.  Rogers, a Canadian (I think) company which owns approximately 23.8% of the country (slightly behind Wal-mart), recently bypassed Canadian CRTC regulations which limit corporations to owning one AM and one FM station by entering into a deal with two FM stations giving Rogers control over the daily operations (and probably most of the profit) of the two additional stations.  What the quasi-owners got in return is unknown, but I suspect that the president of Rogers (Mr. Rogers?) might have had something to do with a couple of guys named Victor threatening to break all of their CDs.  So now, for those of you who like to keep track, Rogers now owns four Winnipeg radio stations: KY58 ("Good time oldies... direct from Ontario via sattelite"), 92 CITI-FM ("Pure Crap"), HOT 103 ("You may remember us from
such radio stations as STAR 103 and 103 U FM..."), andQX104-FM, now Winnipeg's only country, which ironically was then-country station STAR 103's former slogan because QX-104 is based in nearby Selkirk.  Also ironic is that HOT 103 is now playing a mix of songs by "Ms. Cranky Woman and Her Beef Against Men", even though Ms. Cranky's "dog" boyfriend is probably more loyal to her than this station is to any particular format.

Of course, in its never-ending efforts to save money and pass that savings on to you, the president of Rogers (but not you, the subscriber to Rogers Cable or customer of Rogers Video), the marketing departments of the four stations have been combined, which leads us to the real reason for this rant:  commercials.

I have no problem with hearing the same radio personalities doing the same boring commercial spots for local businesses that couldn't afford to use humour effectively.  I can even, in retrospect, forgive them for having the same New York lady saying, "I listen to it every day" in her annoying voice on both 92 CITI-FM and __insert format here__ 103, two stations with somewhat different formats (although 103 is probably going to change this soon).  But when Mr. CITI Voice tells me about the 92 CITI-FM Pure Rock Experience followed immediately by the gang of two-faced multi-station listening station dogs WITH THE SPICE GIRLS DISTINCTLY DISCERNABLE IN THE BACKGROUND, ON A $&#%! ROCK STATION OF ALL THINGS, I think they've gone just a bit too far.

Click.